The Mediator’s Guide to the Initial Party Call: What to Ask Before Mediation

The initial party call is one of the most important parts of the mediation process, even though it can sometimes be treated as little more than a preliminary conversation. In reality, this is often the first opportunity a mediator has to understand how a party sees the dispute, what they are worried about, what they hope mediation might achieve and whether there are any practical or personal issues that need to be addressed before the mediation begins. It is also usually the party’s first real experience of the mediator, which means the tone of that conversation can influence how confident, prepared and engaged they feel about the process that follows.

For many parties, mediation is unfamiliar. They may be anxious about what will happen, frustrated with the other side or unsure whether the process will make any difference. Some may have agreed to mediate enthusiastically, while others may feel cautious, sceptical or even pressured into attending. The mediator therefore has two important tasks during the initial call: to gather enough information to prepare properly, and to help the party understand the process well enough to participate meaningfully. The challenge is to do both without turning the call into a premature mediation session.

Start by understanding how the party sees the dispute

It is usually helpful to begin with a broad invitation rather than a tightly structured series of questions. Asking the party to explain what has brought them to mediation allows them to tell the story in their own way and often reveals what matters most to them. You are listening for the background, the people involved, what has happened so far and how the situation is affecting them. This does not mean testing the accuracy of what they say or trying to decide who is right. The purpose is simply to understand their perspective well enough to prepare for the mediation.

That distinction is important because parties will often arrive with very strong views about what happened and why the other person is responsible. If the mediator becomes too focused on detail too early, the conversation can begin to resemble an investigation rather than preparation. There is no need to examine every allegation or challenge every inconsistency at this stage. What matters more is understanding the shape of the dispute and identifying the issues that appear to be carrying the greatest weight.

Sometimes the presenting issue is not the issue that matters most. A workplace dispute may be described as being about one email, one meeting or one incident, while the real problem is a much longer breakdown in trust. A commercial disagreement may appear to be about payment, but the underlying concern may be reputation, uncertainty or the future of an important business relationship. The initial call gives the mediator an opportunity to notice those layers before the formal mediation begins.

Listen for the interests behind the positions

Parties naturally talk in positions. They may say they want an apology, a particular amount of money, reinstatement, compensation, a change in working arrangements or some other defined outcome. Those positions are important because they tell you what the party currently believes would resolve the dispute, but they do not always explain why that outcome matters.

A useful mediator listens for the interests underneath the position. If someone says they want an apology, what would that apology represent for them? Recognition, respect, acknowledgement or reassurance? If someone wants a particular payment, is the amount itself the central issue or does it represent fairness, loss, certainty or principle?

Understanding these interests can make a significant difference later in the mediation because they may create options that are not immediately obvious when the parties are focused only on fixed positions.

The initial call is not the place to solve those issues, but it is an opportunity to start understanding them. A question such as, “What would make the mediation worthwhile for you?” can sometimes reveal more than asking immediately what settlement they would accept.

Understand what has already happened during the initial party call

Most disputes arrive at mediation after other attempts have been made to resolve them. There may have been direct conversations, formal meetings, grievance procedures, legal correspondence, complaints, offers or negotiations. Understanding that history is important because it helps the mediator avoid asking the parties to repeat processes that have already failed and gives useful context about the current state of the relationship.

If several previous conversations have become confrontational, for example, the mediator may need to think carefully about how a joint session is managed. If offers have already been exchanged, it may be useful to understand where those discussions became stuck. If one party feels that every previous process has ignored their concerns, that may affect how they approach mediation.

The purpose is not to conduct a detailed review of everything that has happened before. It is to understand what the parties have already experienced and what that may mean for the process ahead.

Check what the party expects from mediation

One of the most useful parts of the initial call is clarifying expectations. Mediators can sometimes assume that because a party has agreed to mediation, they understand what the process involves. That is not always the case. Some people expect the mediator to decide who is right. Others expect legal advice, a recommendation or pressure on the other side to compromise. Some believe mediation is simply another form of negotiation where the mediator will carry offers backwards and forwards until someone gives in.

If these assumptions are not addressed early, they can create frustration later.

The initial call is therefore a good opportunity to explain the mediator’s role in straightforward language. You can talk about impartiality, confidentiality, self-determination and the fact that the parties retain control over the decisions they make. You can also explain how private sessions may work and what the mediation day is likely to look like. The explanation does not need to be formal or overly technical. In most cases, a clear and conversational description is more reassuring.

Explore readiness to participate

A party can agree to mediation without necessarily feeling ready for it. They may still be angry, anxious, embarrassed or worried about being in the same room as the other person. They may believe they have been pressured into taking part or be concerned that participation will weaken their position. These feelings do not automatically mean mediation is unsuitable, but they are important for the mediator to understand.

You might ask whether the party has any concerns about the process, whether there is anything that would make participation easier for them, or whether there are particular issues they expect to find difficult to discuss. The answers can help you think about how the process may need to be structured. A party may benefit from starting in private session, may need reassurance about confidentiality or may simply want to know that they can ask for a break if they feel overwhelmed.

The aim is not to remove every difficult emotion from the process. Conflict is difficult by its nature. The aim is to create conditions in which the party is able to participate as effectively as possible.

Think carefully about suitability

The initial call may also raise questions about whether mediation is appropriate and, if it is, how it should be managed. You may become aware of safeguarding concerns, significant power imbalances, capacity issues, intimidation or circumstances in which one party does not appear able to negotiate freely. These issues require professional judgement rather than a simple checklist.

In some cases, the concerns may be manageable through adjustments to the process. In others, further information may be needed before a decision can be made. There may also be situations where mediation should not proceed. What matters is that suitability is considered actively rather than assumed simply because the parties have been referred to mediation.

Address practical needs before they become practical problems

Good preparation also means dealing with practical issues in advance. A party may need an interpreter, reasonable adjustments, regular breaks or support with technology. Remote mediation introduces additional considerations, such as whether the person has a private place to participate, whether they are comfortable using the platform and whether their internet connection is reliable.

These details can seem minor compared with the substance of the dispute, but they can have a significant effect on how well the mediation works. Discovering five minutes before the start that a party cannot access the platform or does not have a confidential space can create unnecessary stress and delay. The initial call is the right time to identify and resolve these issues.

Make sure the right people will be involved

Another important part of preparation is understanding who needs to attend and whether the people taking part have the authority required to make decisions. In commercial mediation, this may involve checking whether the attendee can agree settlement terms. In workplace mediation, there may be questions about whether HR, a manager, representative or another stakeholder needs to be involved. You may also need to understand whether legal advisers will attend and what role they are expected to play.

A mediation can lose momentum quickly if an important decision-maker is unavailable or if someone discovers halfway through the process that they need approval from somebody who is not present. Clarifying this early can prevent avoidable difficulties later.

Avoid mediating too early

One of the easiest traps during an initial party call is allowing the conversation to move too far into the substance of the mediation. A party may begin presenting detailed arguments, asking what you think of their position or trying to establish what the other side has said. They may start discussing settlement options or asking whether a particular proposal sounds reasonable.

It is entirely appropriate to listen, clarify and ask questions, but the purpose of the call is preparation rather than problem-solving. Moving too far into negotiation at this stage can create expectations, affect perceptions of impartiality and result in one party having a very different pre-mediation experience from the other.

The discipline lies in knowing when enough information has been gathered and when the conversation needs to remain focused on preparation.

Ask what would make the mediation useful

Towards the end of the call, it can be valuable to bring the conversation back to the future. Ask what the party would like the mediation to achieve and what would make the process feel worthwhile. Their answer may be specific, but it may also reveal broader interests that are important to understand.

Someone may say they want a particular sum of money, but then explain that what they really want is certainty and an end to ongoing legal costs. Another party may say they want an apology, while the deeper concern is whether a damaged working relationship can continue.

You are not asking them to compromise or move away from their position. You are trying to understand what success looks like from their perspective.

End the conversation with clarity

A good initial call should leave the party knowing what happens next. Confirm the practical arrangements, any documents that need to be provided, agreements that need to be signed and anything they need to do before the mediation. It can also be helpful to remind them how the process will begin and when they can expect further contact.

Clarity matters because uncertainty can increase anxiety. The more confident the party feels about the process, the more attention they can give to the dispute itself.

Use the call as part of your own development

The initial party call is also a valuable opportunity for reflective practice. After the conversation, take a few minutes to think about what you learned and how you managed the discussion. Did your questions produce the information you needed? Did you become too focused on detail? Did you explain the process clearly? Was there a point where you felt tempted to start problem-solving too early?

These observations can help you refine your approach over time. As you gain experience, you begin to develop a more natural rhythm for these conversations and a better sense of which questions are most useful. You also become more confident in knowing when to explore an issue and when to leave it for the mediation itself.

The initial party call should not feel like an interrogation or an administrative formality. At its best, it is a thoughtful professional conversation that helps the party understand the process, helps the mediator understand the dispute and creates better conditions for the mediation that follows.

That preparation is not separate from mediation. It is part of good mediation practice.